Being a Mother


Mother’s Day is tomorrow and I decided to hold off on my timed blog for this week to write this one. This blog is for all the moms in the world.

What does being a mom mean to you? How has motherhood treated you?

Now that social media is a part of our everyday life, we see from a ton of moms on how to raise your child- what your kids should and shouldn’t do, how to go into labor, how hard motherhood is, how hard it is to be a stay at home mom or working mom- the list goes on and on. Social media has become an outlet for us to express our feelings, but it has also become a place that allows moms judge other moms.

I truly believe social media was meant for something good. It was meant to be a safe place to post pictures of your friends and family and stay in touch with loved ones.

Yet, even with the right intentions of social media, it will 99% of the time be turned into something it’s not meant to be. I am apart of a mom group on Facebook (which almost every mom is) and a mom asked everyone for advice on how to help your baby sleep through the night. I responded with how we helped our son sleep through the night and my answer was simple. We used the “cry it out method” from day one. I even went on to explain the different stages of the crying out method because so many people have made the “cry it out” to seem like the worst thing in the history of mankind. After I posted my response, I fell asleep. When I woke up that next morning, I had several messages on messenger and comments to my response. Responses I couldn’t believe a mom would say to another mom; “You deserve to die”, “You don’t deserve to be a mom”, “Your kid will never know love”, “You are torturing your baby, he’s just a newborn”…and that’s mild messages of those I received. It was like the people responding didn’t even read my whole response on explaining how to use the cry it out method and they went straight into judging. They didn’t want to give grace and learn from another mother, they wanted to humiliate. I just went on with my life and ignored those people because they don’t know my child or me.

Personally, I don’t care how you raise your kid and I won’t give you advice unless you ask. My son watches TV , doesn’t eat organic and was trained with the cry it out method. Does that make me a bad mom? Hell to the no. That makes me a damn amazing mom for knowing what is right for my child.

When I read my friends’ posts on how motherhood is hard for them, I never understood what they meant. For me motherhood wasn’t that hard. It was just adapting to a new way of life. The hard part was judgment from other mothers. That part was what made being a mother hard for me.

Being a mom to your child is the easier part. It’s being a mom in this society that makes it hard. Who cares if you’re a working mom or stay at home mom. Are you a mom? Yes. That’s all that matters. You both work. Hard. Every damn day. You both sacrifice.

Do you breast feed or formula feed? I don’t care. Honestly. I never ask that question nor do I ever care to ask that question. Is your child fed? Yes. Both moms work hard at feeding. I’ve heard breast feeding moms bash formula feeding moms and I’ve heard formula feeding moms bash breast feeding.

In the end our babies and kids only need love. They don’t need the “best” next car seat or new toys or even the healthiest of heathy food. Your child needs to know they are LOVED. They are all going to grow up and eat fast food one day, say a curse word, and drive a used car. What matters is that we teach our kids the true meaning of life. Love. Love unconditionally. Be kind. Be kind to those that are different from you.

Being a mom isn’t about the most liked picture on social media or whose kid is more advanced. Let that mom be proud of their child and cheer your friend on!! Don’t share stories about your kid on their post. Do your own post.

Being a mom isn’t a race on who can have the most kids. What if a mom can’t have a second kid? What if your friend keeps miscarrying and every time you tell them “Oh wait till you have a second one, it will be much harder”? They die a little more on the inside because their heart is longing for a second baby but their body isn’t holding on. What if your friend can’t conceive? All your friend wants is to have a baby of their own but they don’t have enough money for adoption or IVF and their own body isn’t letting them get pregnant. What if your friend genuinely only wants one kid? Does that make her a bad mom or makes her life easier than yours?

Being a mom also doesn’t give you an excuse to forget who you are as a woman. Being a mom doesn’t give you a free pass to let yourself go and leave your husband to be last. I’m not saying you have to have abs of steal or look like a damn model. All I’m saying is give your husband a longing kiss. Tell him thank you. Go out on the porch with a glass of wine at night when your baby is sleeping and have a few minutes to yourself. Those few things will help you. It will also be an example to your child that your life doesn’t end with having a kid- it’s only the beginning.

Being a mom is a gift. It’s a gift no one should take for granted. We have one life. Do we want to waste it judging other moms or complaining our life away? Let’s live our life to the fullest and love.

Find the right group of family and friends to cheer you own. The ones that will lift you up when it does get hard but will remind you about all the good. The ones that don’t care how you raise your kid but will also tell you when you’re being stupid. The ones that can parent different and don’t judge each other. Find those types of people. I have mine ♥️ Do you?

This blog is solely off my experience as a mother and in no one shaming or bashing another. ♥️ Everyone has their journey and this blog is mine. ♥️

Happy Mother’s Day to all my beautiful moms. Even my dear friends who have miscarried, you ARE a mom and you’ll meet your baby in heaven one day. Tomorrow we are celebrating you. You are all deserving. You are all wonderful. You are all beautiful.

Love you guys <333

Jac Jac

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